journey to happiness

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Thu, 23 May 2013 21:03:16 +0800

Dear Ignorant People,

Thu, 23 May 2013 21:03:03 +0800

polkadot-dreams:

insani—tea:

Recovery is a lot more complicated than just eating ‘like a normal person’.

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Thu, 23 May 2013 20:02:17 +0800

If u were to go inpatient soon? How long is the waiting list?

Thu, 23 May 2013 12:47:36 +0800

Probably a few weeks. I usually get in with a day or two usually from past experience. I really don’t want to get in that early

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Thu, 23 May 2013 09:06:23 +0800

I'm sorry to see you struggling lovely you deserve so much better then this. Stay strong <3

Wed, 22 May 2013 18:24:49 +0800

Thankyou precious. :( relapses suuuuuuck. Hope your coping lovely xoxox

Your eating disorder will never be ready to recover so do it NOW

Wed, 22 May 2013 17:01:03 +0800

I’m going to try see how I go at home and if I don’t improve I’ll seek treatment. xo

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Wed, 22 May 2013 16:24:52 +0800

So... Update TW

Wed, 22 May 2013 16:05:07 +0800

Just talked to dad and he wants me to go back inpatient pretty much now. Of course I said not happening. I said if things aren’t getting better with in a month…. Then maybe I’ll consider some sort of treatment. but right now. I’m
Obese. An if I go into treatment now I will refuse food and not comply. And re lose any weight gained at hospital as soon as I get home. So I’d rather wait until I feel like I’m ready and want to make recovery happen…

TW. Feeling like shit. Dad took work off to look after me an...

Wed, 22 May 2013 15:01:16 +0800

TW. Feeling like shit. Dad took work off to look after me an call my dr at Hollywood. Fucking fantastic. I still refuse to go back inpatient. I’m walking to pick my sister up from school to get out for a bit and clear my head. Binge purging is completely out of the question now. And I’m scared of most foods when I can’t purge them. So this probably won’t end well. :( fuck my fucking life.

"It’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready. I have this feeling now that..."

Wed, 22 May 2013 12:23:16 +0800

“It’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.”

- Hugh Laurie (via moaka)

It's TMI Tuesday. You could literally be asking me anything. And you're just staring at your dash.

Wed, 22 May 2013 12:09:27 +0800

"But sticking your fingers down your throat and coughing and then going OH MY GOD EW is not bulimia...."

Tue, 21 May 2013 20:53:22 +0800

“

But sticking your fingers down your throat and coughing and then going OH MY GOD EW is not bulimia. Fasting for a day and then “fainting” in the hallway is not anorexia. And “getting so desperate I seriously considered anorexia or bulimia” isn’t an eating disorder.

Bulimia is a speeding train with no brakes, bingeing and purging and bingeing and purging no matter how broke you are or how disgusting the food is or what you should be doing. It’s gorging until you can barely stand, puking until you bleed, and the city could burn to the ground and when it was over you’d still be standing in the ashes, bingeing and purging.

Anorexia is a wall of blue-gray ice, a miswired translation code that turns appetite into disgust, a terror you don’t understand, a fear so real you can see it and hear it and kiss it goodnight, an illogical logic that rewrites everything and you know you need to eat and maybe you even really want to eat but you just can’t because if you did everything would fall apart.

Desperation is digging through the garbage for nothing-something-anything to stuff in your face because you have to binge and purge right now. Desperation is standing frozen in the aisle of the grocery store for minutes/hours/years, and then buying the same calorie-free crap you always buy because you can’t eat it if it’s not safe.

”

- from Felice Fawn’s facebook (via dontwanttobeanorexic)

Didnt realize you were from Perth too ^-^

Tue, 21 May 2013 20:15:49 +0800

yay Perth (:

Wouldn't you be anorexic b/p subtype if you are underweight? What makes you bulimic? Sorry if this is triggering? I just don't know what makes a person bulimic or anorexic? I feel they crossover so much.

Tue, 21 May 2013 17:48:21 +0800

TW. Well I was diagnosed when I was purely bulimic over 2 years ago and was average weight. Recently I don’t binge and purge as much and just restrict/purge and have lost weight rapidly. I think if I continue to lose weight my diagnosis will change. but I think most people with some sort of ed often go through stages of different disorders. xo

Are u underweight at the moment! Ur upper body looks tiny in that last photo? Shouldn't u keep seeing ur pdoc?

Tue, 21 May 2013 17:22:51 +0800

Yeah I am. I haven’t had an appointment with my main one in perth for a while because his solution to everything is just to stick me in hospital. And I’m trying to avoid that at the moment.

That's great what medical centre do they work at? I'm looking for a gp

Tue, 21 May 2013 17:07:54 +0800

Greater bunbury medical centre.

is your gp nice and understanding? Do they judge you?

Tue, 21 May 2013 16:56:25 +0800

My gp is very stern. and straight to the point. She’s nice though. she used to work at grey lands so she knows a lot about eating disorders and mental health.

What's meds do u take? Do u think you will have to go inpatient again? Are ur doctors concerned at the moment?

Tue, 21 May 2013 16:14:56 +0800

seroquel, pristiqe and lorazepam. I just saw my doctor and yes she’s concerned now. Contacting my psychiatrist about what’s happening and maybe an admission which Is completely not happening.

do you have borderline diagnosis? Btw you're beautiful :)

Tue, 21 May 2013 15:55:16 +0800

I do xoxoxo